This is to the guy who swept me off my feet.
I thought it would be a brave decision, to take a risk after having my heart broken by someone else.
He made me happy for a while.
Gave me hopes.
Confessed he liked me.
I broke down when he left without saying a word.
I kept asking myself where did I go wrong.
Was it something I said.
Was it something I did.
Did I push him away.
I cried a few times.
Told myself to man up
Acted like nothing was wrong.
Left it at that.
I thought I was over him.
He came back.
He did it again.
He crossed another boundary.
Now here I am sitting in front of my desk trying to keep it all together, trying to get my work done, blasting music as loud as I can but my thoughts just wont shut up.
Here I am again eyes tearing up, for a man whom I knew was not worth it from the start.
Beating myself up for being stupid again and again.
Pretty sure he doesn’t even care.
But it hurts all the same.
The worst kind of dissatisfaction is one that you cannot express. You keep telling yourself, it’s just not worth getting upset for, but it just consumes you from the inside.
You can say “I won’t give a fuck”, repeat over and over again, trying to convince yourself, nothing works. You ignore the problem hoping it’ll go away but it just haunts you more. You end up making assumptions rather than making confrontations.
It just seems easier to avoid the feelings than to deal with them, until one day you realise you’ve turned into a person you couldn’t recognise anymore. By then it’s too late.
so i found this book
so being curious i had a look and
i dont know what i was expecting
this fucking book
My friend James masturbated to all of the pictures in that book
your friend james sounds like he may be in need of some counselling